I've got a secret.

One of my greatest character flaws is that I try to pretend to be cultured. I feign interest in the arts; I masquerade as a literature snob. To put it bluntly, I am far more crass than I let on to strangers and loose acquaintances. Outwardly, I am a devotee of the Western canon; inwardly, I want to read any book that has the word "penis" in it.

So I have been acting like I don't enjoy reality television. I know it's pretentious, but the social circles I've been frequenting lately are most definitely of a higher intellectual caliber. As such, I'm sure they find my unending appreciation of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" appalling. I could watch that shit for HOURS. I detest the people on the show and generally find their antics tasteless, but it amuses me nonetheless.

Since I'm 24 and MTV is now the dominion of the teenaged crowd, I've been denying my love for a certain hyper-tanned, Ed Hardy-wearing motley crew of ill repute. That's right, I fucking love Jersey Shore.

Now I know that you, assumed loyal reader and friend, are wondering why a person reeking of cynicism and feminism would support such a vapid entertainment outlet. So hear me out.

It takes a lot of guts to admit you've fucked someone. It takes serious balls to air your dirty laundry in public. It doesn't matter if everyone wants to hear it, or no one does. Imagine if all your weakest moments were videotaped. Imagine if everyone knew you slept with your roommate, and heard your drunken outbursts, and saw your naked breasts as you writhed in a hot tub.

Now, imagine if you didn't give a shit.

This is where the brilliance of this superficial social experiment comes in. 

I love the people on Jersey Shore because they're not attempting to be anything. They're not pretending their tits are real or their storylines are genuine. The whole experience of the show is so contrived that it goes past artificial and somehow comes back to real. We can see past what everyone expects them to do; yet when they do it, we don't blame them. We can't. We created them. They are the manifestation of all the dumbest, purest things we desire. We want sex and tequila and expensive sunglasses covered in rhinestones. The stupidest part is that we deny it.

That's not to say that I'm going to go douse myself in spray tan and bedazzle some crop tops. The greatest part about entertainment is that it can remain just that. I can watch empty people make out and make tons of money, and it really has no effect on who I am or who I will be. It's just oddly comforting that there's a group of people out there, charged with doing nothing but living out the ridiculously selfish fantasies of my generation, and I can watch them make the thousand mistakes I've made. They're not ashamed. And maybe I shouldn't be, either.